Ethan's Expired
Grocery
One aisle. One item. Nothing in here is fresh.
Open 24–30 August only
$50Each
Hand printed by me.
Available for 7 days.
I know it's expensive. So was the car. So was the phone.
Best before —
0
Days
00
Hours
00
Minutes
00
Seconds
When the timer hits zero the store closes. Every shirt ordered before then gets printed.
Itemized
Everything
went wrong.
Ethan's Expired
Hit by a carDay 1
Car overheatedDay 3
Cracked phoneDay 5
Black Tusk, 40 lb packDay 7
Phone into the oceanLater
The expired foodFine
No refunds on a week like that
The food was never the problem.
I spent seven days terrified of expired food. Meanwhile, literally everything else in my life was falling apart.
So I made a shirt about it.
Security footage
Spotted in aisle 7.
CAM 04
● REC
Ethan's Expired · Aisle 7
--:--:--
Subject was buying more of the thing that started this.
Item 001
The shirt.
Hand printed
Hand printed by me.
Every shirt is printed by me, one at a time. White cotton tee, black Cooper lettering. I made these for this video and nothing else. Every order is printed and shipped within 30 days of the store closing.
Size
Size chart
| Size | Chest | Length |
|---|
Flat measurements in inches, measured by hand. Not body measurements.
$50Each
One shirt. One week.
Then the store closes.
Pick a size to continue.
Store policy
Made to order. Printed after 30 August, shipped by 25 September. It's just me and a squeegee.
No restock. Timer hits zero, store closes.
All sales final. Check the size chart for measurements.
Unless I messed up. Wrong or damaged? Email me within 14 days.
US and Canada only. Sorry, everyone else.
Back room
Ink. Squeegee.
Pull. Lift. Stack.
Every one gets printed, dried, folded and packed by me, in Vancouver. It takes longer than it sounds like it should.
Customer service
Questions at the counter.
Why does it take a month?
Because I haven't printed it yet. I print every order by hand after the store closes on 30 August, then pack and ship them myself. Everything goes out by 25 September.
What if it doesn't fit?
All sales are final, so check the size chart before you order. If I sent you the wrong size, that's on me — email within 14 days and I'll fix it.
Where do you ship?
The United States and Canada. Everywhere else is a customs and tax problem I'm not set up to solve yet — join the email list and I'll sort it out before the next one.
Is this coming back?
No. One week, one run, no restock. When the timer hits zero the store closes and this shirt is done.
What is it actually made of?
A white cotton tee, screen printed by hand in black. Wash it cold and inside out, tumble dry low, and don't iron the print.
The first drop
This is the first time I've ever released this shirt. I have absolutely no idea how many I'm going to have to print.
Open
7 days.
Best before —
0
Days
00
Hours
00
Minutes
00
Seconds
No restock. No second run. No "limited to 100." I print whatever gets ordered this week and then this page turns off.